The Rhyme Chick

You Had A Baby Now You Have To Pee
March 25, 2010, 1:28 pm
Filed under: New Baby, Uncategorized

You had a baby,
And now you have to pee.
They’ve got some tube where you cannot see!
Thank God for that, but it’s coming out.
They want you to be able to move about.
So go do as nature intended.
We’re pretty sure your bladder has mended.
Have some stage fright?
Can’t wizz on command?
Um, would you like a nurse to hold your hand?

Fine, go pee.
It’s easy.
I’ll just be here visiting the baby.


Dear Baby – We Know Your Parents
March 12, 2010, 3:24 pm
Filed under: New Baby

Dear baby, we know your parents.
We’ve been friends with them for years.
We used to meet down at this bar
And drink us up some beers.

Now that you are here, we won’t be doing that!

Man, your mom could throw them back!
Honey, don’t listen. He’s a rat.
Your daddy liked to drink rum and coke!
What?! I’m telling him about father!
There was this one time with this hottie…
I swear, why do I even bother?
Listen, baby, your mommy and daddy love you very much.
Even when they say, “I told you twice; don’t touch!”
Come to us if they are strict. We’ll remind them of their youth.
And don’t you even worry that your dad smells like Vermouth.

We’re Here For You and Your New Baby Girl
March 8, 2010, 10:58 pm
Filed under: New Baby

Your baby girl is finally here
At last you get to meet her
And as you hold her in your arms
You ask, “Could life get sweeter?”

That really is so wonderful.
We’re glad you’re feeling plucky
Cause in about a week or so
You’re going to feel quite sucky.

Sleep is just for suckers
And getting dressed is for the queen
While you’re wondering what’s for dinner
Don’t forget to clean.

The days and nights will run together
Life will sure unravel.
Call us when you need us now!
Leave a message though,
We travel.